Trading in my Super Hero Cape for Hospital Socks
Friday wasn’t my finest hour. It was early. I was dressed in mismatched pj’s and of course I wasn’t wearing a bra. As I dressed for bed the night before, I was seeking something comfortable, yet as laid on the bathroom floor I wondered if I should get my bra. That thought quickly disappeared as I grabbed my lower right side and vomited into the toilet. The pain was unbearable, and this is from a woman who has given birth to two boys naturally. The pain reminded me of labor pains, but I wasn’t pregnant. Was it a stomach bug, surely not? Something was terribly wrong, and I was scared trying to figure out the culprit of my pain.
I mustered up my strength and called to my husband, Seth downstairs. He was helping prepare breakfast for the kids. Seth was going to chaperone my son’s first field trip to a nearby pumpkin patch. Aiden had been looking forward to this day for the past two weeks. He was going to ride the bus, climb the hay stack, go on a hayride and pick out a big pumpkin.
Seth came upstairs. I need to go to the hospital, I told him. Something is wrong. Ok, he said. Do you think you can get in the car? No, I can’t get up. I’ll call an ambulance, he said. I continued to lay on the bathroom floor as he called 911, the pain grew worse. I knew help was on the way, as I heard Seth getting my medications in order, telling the kids Mommy was sick, and putting the dog outside.
Between the pain and listening to Seth, my mind kept thinking about Aiden and his field trip. Would Seth be able to go with him? Did someone make his lunch and put it in a paper bag? How would he get to school? I needed to text my friend; I needed to arrange this; I needed to be super mom now; but I couldn’t I was still laying on the bathroom floor unable to move. I had to take off my super cape and relinquish my super powers. It was if the pain was my kryptonite.
The book The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst came to mind, a friend of mine was telling me about it earlier in the week. It’s about pushing the guilt aside when you say no and not worrying about disappointing others. I was literally laying on the floor, unable to move, in the worst possible pain worrying about disappointing my son and his field trip and not being able to be my usual supermom self. I felt guilty because I had to say no. I had to admit I couldn’t do it myself. I needed God’s help, and I needed to ask my husband and friends for help too. I started to pray and asked God to first take away the horrible pain and then be with my family in this time of crisis.
The ambulance finally arrived and after checking my vitals and asking me a series of questions which seemed unbearable; I got on the stretcher and was loaded into the ambulance. The pain didn’t cease, but the medicine I was given helped take the edge off, a little.
I could see the blue sky and trees through the back window of the ambulance. We were on the way to hospital, and I was feeling a bit of relief knowing that my diagnosis would be soon. I was nervous wondering what could be causing my pain. I was still in pain, but I had a peace that God was taking care of me. Little did I know that my sweet neighbor, Angie was watching the boys, and she even called the school and let them know Aiden wouldn’t be able to come.
I arrived at the hospital still wearing my mismatched pj’s and of course no bra, but it didn’t matter the nurse informed me that I needed to put on the hospital gown and then she did the best thing ever. She slipped on two Carolina blue colored hospital socks on my feet. I don’t know what it was about those socks, but they made me feel warm and cared for. I was really out of it when I went to the bathroom. I put on the gown backwards or maybe I just wanted to feel super again and wear it cape style. Either way the doctor told me, I put it on wrong, and I had just passed a kidney stone into my bladder.
Boom! What? A kidney stone. Not what I was expecting with my healthy eating habits. I felt confused; how did this happen? Genetics, the doctor replied. It happens. Actually 1 in 10 Americans will have a kidney stone in their lifetime, and once you have one the percentage of having another increases by 50%. I don’t like those statistics, and I don’t like being knocked down unknowingly. I don’t want to ever have another kidney stone again, I thought to myself. I’ll watch my diet and be careful this time. Yet in the midst of my proactive planning, I heard His still small voice. God was telling me to cast my burdens on Him because He will sustain me (Psalm 55:22).
I think sometimes as moms, we try to do everything ourselves. It’s overwhelming, tough and I’d rather have help, but I won’t admit it. Honestly, part of me takes pride in being able to do it all. Yet, I know that I feel better when I get a break and most importantly when I ask God for help. My favorite Bible verse is Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Yes, I can do it all, but not on my own. Sometimes, it just takes a bit of humility and hospital socks to realize it.